Procrastination has been on my mind a lot lately—ironically because I’ve been procrastinating on this very blog post. Funny how that works, right? I went down the rabbit hole of quotes, memes, and research about how people with ADHD often use procrastination as a way to process and handle things. I read that it can also be a trauma response or a form of emotional avoidance. If you’re neurodivergent, there are a number of reasons why you might be prone to procrastination—and many of them are intertwined.
So, why am I procrastinating? Why can’t I focus and get things done?
I have a Google Drive full of half-started thoughts, ideas, and passages. I’ve thought through and imagined so many articles I want to write, talks I want to give… yet, I can’t seem to sit down and finish my to-do list.
Some days, I chalk it up to “analysis paralysis.” There’s so much swirling around in my brain that I freeze. Other days, it’s because being a single mom is a lot, and my “mom hat” takes priority over everything else. But really, I think the worst part is that nagging feeling of guilt—constantly feeling like I should be doing something else, something more. Then, I beat myself up, and the cycle repeats.
And let’s be real for a second: We shouldn’t “should” on ourselves.
(Can we make that a thing?)
A saying I came across years ago has stuck with me: “When we live in the past, we are depressed. When we live in the future, we are anxious. But in the present, we find peace.” I’ve seen this attributed to Lao Tzu, and it hits home because, when I’m stuck procrastinating, I’m either ruminating on past failures or panicking about the future.
In these moments, I usually cue my internal pep talk to reframe:
Be kind to yourself. Take a breath. You can. You are. You will.
It sounds simple, but it works. When I remind myself to be present and focus on what I can control, I’m usually able to kick into gear and tackle whatever project I’ve been avoiding. (Those with ADHD often call this their “Hyper-focus Super Power.”)
But lately, when I hit a snag—when I run into the tasks I’ve been procrastinating on for too long—I shut down again.
Does this sound familiar?
Recently, I’ve started questioning why I’m stressed. Is it the pivots in my career and overthinking the decisions I’ve made? Raising teenage girls? Or maybe it’s wondering if anyone even reads this blog? (If you’re reading this, hey!) And how many of you are feeling the same way? Maybe we’re not all going through the same experiences, but those feelings of overwhelm, guilt, and avoidance? Yeah, we share those.
Friends, procrastination isn’t just about being lazy or disorganized. Research shows that it’s often tied to negative emotions like fear of failure, anxiety, or perfectionism. For people with ADHD, procrastination is also linked to executive dysfunction, meaning it’s not about not wanting to do something—it’s about struggling to get started or manage the task. Trauma responses can also play a role, as our brains may avoid tasks that remind us of past stress or overwhelm.
So, what can we do about it? Here are some tips that help me (when I’m not procrastinating, that is):
- Break it down: If a task feels too big, it probably is. Break it into smaller, more manageable steps. Ask yourself: What can I do to start?
- Set a timer: There’s something magical about setting a timer for 10 or 15 minutes. You’d be amazed at how much you can accomplish in a short burst of focused work.
- Reframe your mindset: When you’re dreading a task, reframe it as an opportunity instead of a chore. What can you gain by finishing it? How will that make you feel?
- Reward yourself: Sometimes, the promise of a little treat (coffee break, anyone?) is all the motivation you need.
- Be present: This is key. When you’re caught up in procrastination, it’s usually because you’re worrying about the past or the future. Focus on the now.
Procrastination might be a tough habit to break, but it’s not impossible. And remember, we’re all in this together. So, let’s stop “shoulding” on ourselves and start making progress—one step at a time.
Perspective, after all, is everything. But we’ll save that for another post.
XOXO,
