Transformation Tuesday: I think I took a step back

It is still a choice.

I started my Transformation Tuesday posts sharing how I had made a choice. These posts were to help me with my accountability. Today, I wanted to give up.  It was a day full of emotion coming off a jam packed week.

Last Monday was the Grand Opening for our New Tupperware Studio here in Charlotte. So besides prepping for that, I had 2 TV spots to promote it.  Plus, TupAware day where I went to meet new people!  The Grand Opening was a success and the next day I taught a local paint night.  Wednesday, I went on to do a 2 day Fundraiser at a local Hospital. I led  a Facebook party Thursday night, and Friday I picked up my girls. We went grocery shopping then I tried to focus on the close to my sales month. Saturday, I threw a Minecraft party for my youngest (which was prepped the 2 days prior as this overachiever had to make her own jewel filled cake and themes snack!). Her best friend came over for a sleepover. The next 2 days I cleaned, worked on my office and chose to get things on my check list done. The AC in my townhouse went out, but it wasn’t going to stop me.  I was choosing to embrace what I could control.  I decided to finally detox – clean foods with lots of tea and water – limiting caffeine and most carbs.  I was focused – set up for success.

Last night my daughter woke up at 4am with a fever. I was calm and proactive, working out the huge rescheduling that was about to be made in my day. I made arrangements to be home with her instead of out working.  I made the phone calls I needed all before 10:30, did 4 loads of laundry, designed posters for the next 2 paint nights, scheduled time to network my business in the morning and followed up with my upcoming parties AND had lots of cuddles before needing to pick up the oldest from school. I was on a roll!

Then, the shift happened.

On the way to the school my head started pounding.  Like knives in my head. Was it the lack of caffeine or was it my allergies??  I had forgotten to take my sinus meds (this season had been brutal.)  Then again,  it could just be my emotions –  my monthly fun week(s) were here. 🙁  I decided I was dehydrated so I drank 2 large cups of water as soon as I got home.

As I was getting the girls settled, I got the message my Grandma wasn’t doing well. Hospice had been called,  I needed to be ready.   My head started hurting even more –  I felt paralyzed –  I could feel the tension in me boiling.  The girls started bickering and neither were listening. I was about to break.  How do all these amazing single moms I know do it?

So, I sat down and worked on a puzzle to try and clear my head.  I drank a large mug of tension tea. ((I even did a headstand for 2 mins (babysteps okay) to help with blood flow and centering.))   I felt a little better, so I went to make dinner.

I have probably said before I am blessed with 2 mini me’s that make my heart smile constantly.  Lately however, I am realizing my oldest is a worse squirrel than I am. She had been at the kitchen table for well over an hour and her homework still wasn’t done. She is in 3rd grade and it was 2 sheets to do! I could feel myself screaming internally because of the number of times I have to repeat myself.   Breathe Corinne –  Calm Tone. ***Now I know how my mom and dad felt –  what am I going to do when both my girls have homework?***

It’s Taco Tuesday and I got dinner on the table. We said a family prayer for my Grandma and I tried hard to fight back the tears. I asked the girls about projects they were doing in school, things they are looking forward to . .. then, I got the text. Papa wasn’t doing good (other side of the family). They were planning to pack up his house Thursday and he probably had a month or so left. Next thing I know my baby’s fever was back – she didn’t want to eat her tacos.  Wanted soup.  My oldest wouldn’t sit in her seat, every time I got up for water, or soup, or something for the table she was up too busy with something.  I could feel the tension coming back –  the feeling of heat internally.

I started thining, “I should be careful what I wish for.”  I wanted to be distracted so I wouldn’t think about my grandparents.  Well, crazy single mom about to break definitely was winning.

My mom then reminded me about what her dad used to say, “be happy each day with what you have, and where you are.”  I sat back and thought. I made a choice.  I made a choice to live the life that I am meant to live. To live where I want to be in both mind, body, spirit and profession. I am going to kick ass as I embrace what I am attracting to me. I could and would do this. Focus Corinne. Breathe. You got this.

Maybe I just need to get to sleep . . after I clean the kitchen.

Transformation is a Process.

Corinne Brown